Satyamev Jayate ... the best show which moves me and makes me shiver into tears ... each and every moment I see through .. in my entire 25 years ...
I have been through hell .. so many sin's .. so many losing .. so many in-appropriate situations... with different levels of living ... different phases of life so far... But after watching today's show .. as I have burst out into tears .. I believe .. I am so blessed and fortunate .. and in comparison to such accidents in life to such innocent kids .. nothing is sad in my life ...
As per the definition, I also fall under the child sexual abuse - Yes .. I was forcefully forced into kissing a guy of 55 that time - touches in my private parts - I was 11 years old.. it happened to my 5-6 times - he is a Pakistani friend of my father ... they share a friendship of like 40 years. It stopped just the way it is said in the show - I told the person whom I thought of as in my bodyguard in those years .. My sister ... and yes I ran away from him after that ... for years ... Alhamdulilah ...
My feelings - hmmm.. In those days, I was mature - thanx to watching movie's - I knew kiss was a special thing - not to have just with anyone - so I knew it was wrong - first time it was weird - confusing - I was scared - after that I knew I dint deserve that ... and I had to fight for myself.. smart kid - yes i was smart - and sensible about my being a girl-child and my private parts. I felt such amount of disgrace and hatred on myself - i was scared with the same level of fear - as depicted in the show - no one will trust me - it took me till the last time to burst out into tears in my sisters washroom - holding her tight and just tell her - He kissed me .. and thankfully my sister understood and asked me to stay away from him ... and I did.. as he used to visit us once or twice a year - he is this rich - big shot - owner of a airline company in Pakistan ... business partner to my father in those days ... no .. never told parents about it - and yes i forgot about it due to course of time ...
where he is now - I don't know or care ...
what I feel about it now - it wasn't my fault - it was that bloody bustards sick filthy mentality - his illness - yes i term him as in a ill-mental person ... and i do forgive him .. because I know Allah will punish him or maybe Allah has punished him already.
my request to all - please be there for your child - or any child in your family - or any child you know - your brothers or sisters - be their faith as they think of you ... need you.
I agree - no child lies about such incident - because we hardly talk to children about such issues - or built up such awareness in them .. we like to keep things secret and hidden .. we mostly don't even give them the access to talk to us anything they want to...such a pity to my homeland.
In Bangladesh - I strongly believe - there are millions of similar cases - and people wont even have guts like Amir khan or reliance or star in my country to make a show or even think of such concept - ever ... Bangladesh is country where 5-8 year olds even commit suicide due to eve teasing .. where people to freak about religion and social taboos - busy giving f'ck about social intrusion and images ... we are too spineless to even think its happening around us. if searched ... hundred of cases ... thousands of people in all ages will be found in the same hell - once been there at least . I am not writing on the basis of statistics or not having empirical evidences in hand - don't need to .. I know its happening .. it has happened .. it will happen.
desire - strong inspiration - must make a workshop like this when I get back to home - to the kids in my family.
please do listen to you child when he/she asks you to .. please talk to them and let them know what in them is not to be touched by others ... make them understand they can put faith in you and you are their ultimate bodyguards - as you give birth to them - you give them the breath to live - be responsible for it ...
those who have been through it - hats off to you - be strong .. be bold .. be loving to yourself - you dint choose that - and now when its over - be born again in your own solidarity - own light of faith - you have said no or been saved - you are fortunate - share it - help others ...
those who are undergoing it - get yourself together - forget what others will go through - how people or relationships may suffer - speak out .. stand out for yourself - at least try - go for help - be your own help if possible.
and for the mother-fuckers who does these sin - may you burn in hell !
SaybaL
What Is Child Sexual Abuse?
At the extreme end of the spectrum, sexual abuse includes sexual intercourse or its deviations. Yet all offences that involve sexually touching a child, as well as non-touching offenses and sexual exploitation, are just as harmful and devastating to a child’s well-being.
Touching sexual offenses include:
- Fondling;
- Making a child touch an adult’s sexual organs; and
- Penetrating a child’s vagina or anus no matter how slight with a penis or any object that doesn’t have a valid medical purpose.
Non-touching sexual offenses include:
- Engaging in indecent exposure or exhibitionism;
- Exposing children to pornographic material;
- Deliberately exposing a child to the act of sexual intercourse; and
- Masturbating in front of a child.
Sexual exploitation can include:
- Engaging a child or soliciting a child for the purposes of prostitution; and
- Using a child to film, photograph or model pornography.
These definitions are broad. In most states, the legal definition of child molestation is an act of a person—adult or child—who forces, coerces or threatens a child to have any form of sexual contact or to engage in any type of sexual activity at the perpetrator’s direction.
What Are the Effects of Child Sexual Abuse?
The effects of sexual abuse extend far beyond childhood. Sexual abuse robs children of their childhood and creates a loss of trust, feelings of guilt and self-abusive behavior. It can lead to antisocial behavior, depression, identity confusion, loss of selfesteem and other serious emotional problems. It can also lead to difficulty with intimate relationships later in life. The sexual victimization of children is ethically and morally wrong.
Proving Sexual Abuse
When sexual abuse occurs the child victim may be the only witness and the child’s statements may be the only evidence. In such cases, the central issue sometimes becomes whether the child’s statements can be trusted. Some child welfare experts feel that children never lie about sexual abuse and that their statements must always be believed. According to Douglas Besharov in The Future of Children (1994), “Potential reporters are not expected to determine the truth of a child’s statements. As a general rule, therefore, all doubts should be resolved in favor of making a report.” He continues, “A child who describes being sexually abused should be reported unless there is clear reason to disbelieve the statement.”
Child sexual abuse cases can be very difficult to prove largely because cases where definitive, objective evidence exists are the exception rather than the rule. The first indicators of sexual abuse may not be physical, but rather behavioral changes or abnormalities. Unfortunately, because it can be so difficult to accept that sexual abuse may be occurring,the adult may misinterpret the signals and feel that the child is merely being disobedient or insolent.
The reaction to the disclosure of abuse then becomes disbelief and rejection of the child’s statements.
Sexual abuse is usually discovered in one of two ways:
- Direct disclosure (e.g., the victim, victim’s family member or parent seeking help makes a statement)
- Indirect methods (e.g., someone witnesses the abuse to the child, the child contracts a sexually transmitted disease or the child becomes pregnant)
Sometimes the child may be so traumatized by sexual abuse that years pass before he or she is able to understand or talk about what happened. In these cases, adult survivors of sexual abuse may come forward for the first time in their 40s or 50s and divulge the horror of their experiences.
What Should You Look for If You Suspect Sexual Abuse?
Children who are sexually abused may exhibit behavioral changes, based on their age.
Children up to age 3 may exhibit:
- Fear or excessive crying
- Vomiting
- Feeding problems
- Bowel problems
- Sleep disturbances
- Failure to thrive
Children ages 2 to 9 may exhibit:
- Fear of particular people, places or activities
- Regression to earlier behaviors such as bed wetting or stranger anxiety
- Victimization of others
- Excessive masturbation
- Feelings of shame or guilt
- Nightmares or sleep disturbances
- Withdrawal from family or friends
- Fear of attack recurring
- Eating disturbances
Symptoms of sexual abuse in older children and adolescents include:
- Depression
- Nightmares or sleep disturbances
- Poor school performance
- Promiscuity
- Substance abuse
- Aggression
- Running away from home
- Fear of attack recurring
- Eating disturbances
- Early pregnancy or marriage
- Suicidal gestures
- Anger about being forced into situation beyond one’s control
- Pseudo-mature behaviors
What Can You Do?
Protect your children. Teach your children what appropriate sexual behavior is and when to say “no” if someone tries to touch sexual parts of their bodies or touch them in any way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Also, observe your children when they interact with others to see if they are hesitant or particularly uncomfortable around certain adults. It is critical to provide adequate supervision for your children and only leave them in the care of individuals whom you deem safe.
Support child abuse victims. Children need to know that they can speak openly to a trusted adult and that they will be believed. Children who are victims of sexual abuse should always be reassured that they are not responsible for what has happened to them. Offer encouragement for victims by supporting organizations that help victims of incest or by simply reassuring victims of sexual abuse that they should not feel shame or guilt. It is important to understand that troubled families can be helped and that everyone can play a part in the process.
Teach others about child abuse. Help make others aware of sexual abuse by arranging for knowledgeable guest speakers to present to your organizations or groups. Encourage your local school board to establish programs to educate both teachers and students about the problem.
Report, report, report. If you suspect sexual abuse and believe a child to be in imminent danger, report it to the local child protective services agency (often called “social services” or “human services”) in your county or state. Professionals who work with children are required by law to report reasonable suspicion of abuse or neglect. Furthermore, in 20 states, citizens who suspect abuse or neglect are required to report it. “Reasonable suspicion” based on objective evidence, which could be firsthand observation or statements made by a parent or child, is all that is needed to report. Remember that you may be the only person in a position to help a child who is being sexually abused.
