...difference between I Want You and I Need You...

As I grow, I learn. My desires from a relationship have changed over the course of time. Now I no longer want someone who says they would be with me forever, and I no longer want someone who says they would never leave me. I am not looking for someone who is always neatly dressed up, or wears shiny shoes, or has an amazing sense of humour or has great guitar playing skills. I am not looking for someone who has the false sense of love, and thinks that love is finding that one perfect person, or someone who is trying to check items off their list while they search for "the one". I want someone who understands that "the one" is a fairy tale, and though fairy tales do happen in real life, they take much more work than the Cinderella finding her prince charming by walking into a party. Every fairy tale ends with "happily ever after", I want someone who realizes that the "happily ever afters" are a lot of hard work. As I grow, I have learnt that the physical traits matter less and less and loyalty and undivided attention are the most important traits in a relationship. I don't want someone who sugar coats everything, and never gets angry at anything. I want someone who is raw, and real, and tells me how it really is. I am more interested in someone who realizes that sometimes life happens and sometimes things don't work out. I want to be able to make a conversation with them, for four hours straight, and not feel bored, and not feel unwanted and not feel like they are not listening. I want someone who wants to know how my day was, always. As I grow, I have learnt that privacy is important, and there is only so much time that we all have on this earth and only so many people that we can spend it with. I want someone who wants to spend their time with me as much as I want to spend time with them, any less is just not good enough. I want someone who admits that they really like my company rather than playing games, alas, modern dating, games have become the norm, and I don't have time or patience to play along. As I grow, I have learnt, that I am complete by myself, and I don't need anyone to define my existence, but you can make me so much better. I want to be stronger with you, and grow with you, together, and individually. To tell you the truth - no, I don't need you - but I really want you. And all of this, that you realize that we are two very different people, and that we are just starting to know each other, and that we might not work out, and everything else about our relationship, makes me think that this might actually work, that we've got a pretty good shot. - Shivee Chauhan

... A girl in Dhaka - A girl everywhere in the world ...

Lately i had re-situated myself in the metro city Dhaka , my home city - the city where i was born, raised and taught the itsy-bitsy deals of life. I have earned myself a average job as in a communication executive which is feeding my mind nicely - i have taken over my family responsibilities which often suits my madness to the infinity. 

5-days a week - starting every Sunday to Thursday - i travel from home to office via public bus transportation in within the city. some mornings are too fine to have a 25min max. journey to office. some mornings are too hectic when Dhaka traffic shows its true colors of chaos, crowd and indiscipline of cars and cars and cars. Moreover, i despise it at times as i enter office late - i get out late - i reach home late and i feel late in my thinking and mind as well. But this is how Dhaka is ! The most densely populated city in the world perhaps one of the worst cities to live within. 

Sometimes in the evening - it takes me hours to just get into a transport - may it be a bus or CNG - as in Dhaka, time seems to be the most precious treasure to almost everyone at the same time - no one is ready to spend 2 min to cross the over-bridge - no one is ready to let the next car cut down before them ... all simply rush and rush. Accidents, incidents all happen and still no one care a shit to wait - to be patient - to follow the traffic rules. 

Well, that's how i have seen Dhaka as per past 25 years. 

I have stayed in Kuala Lumpur for about 2 years - and yes they have got some remarkable manners in case of following traffic rules and maintaining ques and honoring the passer-by people around them; also the traffic rules are quite strict and no they don't have traffic police in roads. Rather they have got the cameras and speed detectors and toll stations and automatic traffic systems to help out the people around.

Comparable to Dhaka - I would give more appreciation to KL streets and roads and lanes and their structures and safety issues. But if i am given option ride the Dhaka street or KL one - i will always choose Dhaka.

In Dhaka, its quite tough for a girl to travel along - as it takes illegitimate touches of strangers in the bus throughout the journey - u have to go through x-ray looks of men around you round the clock - no matter what shape or skin or age you are. U cant travel alone after 10 to 10:30 pm max in the city. Even if you are in the private car - unless your glass is black - you cant hide yourself out from those nasty looks and remarks. To get inside a bus is like a triumph of delivery to me - people will jump over you without paying much concern of your womanly body and mostly they would simply do it for fun. 

Unfortunately, its shameful but true 95% men wont sacrifice their seats even when a lady or girl is standing in the bus ... and that's how Dhaka is. In case, you are wearing a pant or jeans or some western outfit - you are being eye-raped by at-least 5 men around you. Am i talking too much shit about men in Dhaka? C'mon that's the reality which i go through at least 3 days a week.

To be able to travel through such calamities everyday - is more of a fight being repeated over and over. 

Some days i feel like crying - some days i simply stay silent - some days are full of discomfort and disgusted emotions and mostly Its part of daily life where i have to held my head strong - my facial expressions unchanged. I simply follow one statement - people giving you nasty looks doesn't make you nasty !

If you know how to travel in Dhaka using the public transports and yet be not scared of using it again and again - you can travel alone anywhere in the world ... trust me ! Self - guarantee !

I love Dhaka , despite of the worse living conditions i always do - like when we love someone we accept their flaws and keep loving them. Dhaka is becoming impossible to bear day by day - mentality of people are becoming empty and troublesome - poverty is rising high and life is becoming complicated ... but isn't that how life becomes? ups and downs - good stuff and then bad stuff and then again good stuff and keeps on repeating over and over - circle of life?