... Sleepless In KL ...

aauf...a sleepless night...have a big day to pass. Um... and I miss my room. Its been raining for almost 2hours now. spent the entire night talking to different people and I enjoyed it. Life isn't that bad you know ... more on that believing to survival efforts and breathing on own terms is worth living such hell of a life. Though I am feeling very sleepy...but I cant.. I feel like not going to the class today .. maybe I will skip it. I just wanna spend the day talking and talking. someone told me in FB - Happiness is good health and a bad (short) memory..the most unhappy mind is one that happens to think the most...that takes life too seriously, at its basest... and he told me - "perhaps u let urself be moved by anything that happens around, cry over anything that doesn’t go by ur line of thinking or expectation…but I think that one becomes happy only when one starts to expect less from life, from people who matter and who who do not…" ... he is just a FB friend... and i replied with - I am ok this way amr happy thakte valo lage naa u kno i get bored when everything happens my way i get bored of laughing and smiling i get bored of having a perfect life i like problems I am more content such way.. attention seeker.. drama queen.. getting sympathy of others and he came up with that's the truest confession he heard or whatever - ahahaha.. but its true.. maybe lately my incompleteness and self-lacking criteria has made me act like such... what to do ?? leave me or live without me.. its takes alot to stick to someone like me who is unstable & unpredictable in life. when where why my heart falls and breaks I don't keep track of it.. sometimes I wonder from why has Allah gifted me with such charm of loving so easily and demanding such hugely and giving such less.. once one of my x's told me that I love torturing myself and others and I enjoy that. and I think I do. now that makes me a bad person. now what to do? leave me or live with me.. I am already created and established that way... very confusing?? I guess its the dizziness. well - Inshallah may the day be good.. and all be safe.. I think I will write another one today ... as I am too tired to concentrate on actually what i intended to write ... :( cheers!